"You don't really mess around do ya?"

Today someone I respect and that has done great work said that quote to me, "You don't mess around, do ya?" which was followed by a hand motion to be like a train. It's not the first time that someone has made such a motion or said something similar. Today though I was definitely reminded that such a way of being isnt for everyone, that some find it not only overwhelming, but that it disarms them and makes the space weird, like something was said that put them in a vulnerable position (and no one wants to be feel vulnerable when THEY, themselves, dont decide to be).

Anyway, so I was thinking about her comment and the directness for which I was guilty of and realized that she was right. I am direct and sometimes, I need to let things go and not ask the hard questions. That it just might be that people know that there are hard questions but arent in need of someone calling them out on them. Their idiosynchonicities are their way of acknowledging those issues and keeping themselves safe. And, who and I to judge? I hate being called on things. I want to be a better listener and recognizer of the defenses people have, to know when is the time to help them recognize something, to drop their wall and when it is better to let it be.
That being said, while I dont think it is always my role to break apart people's defenses, it is sometimes, right? As a teacher, I should sometimes, I think. I mean, it is when we question what is happening and who is accountable that we are able to grow. So, where is the line? I need some direction here cause today, I crossed it I think. I tore the wall down and there someone stood naked. Then what the hell was I supposed to do? Even I hadnt thought that far ahead. Save face, of course. The very same thing they were trying to do in the first place. Aye, karumba!