Bye, Bye 2010, Hello 2011!

It is officially the new year, 2011, and the first one since 1996 without my Mitzie Mouse. It has been a year of loses and hurt. Mitzie ended her time with me, a tumor was removed from my head and replaced with staples and pain, my best colleague Jackie left for Japan with no help for the 7 classes I was left teaching, nor research we were to be conducting. Then there was the loss of my house and the move to an apartment and the loss of my illusion that my job would get better. I even lost faith in a best frined who Ive known practically my whole life. It's been a hard year, a tough 2010, one for which I wish I could have some more time in so as to hug my Mouser, but am glad to see leave. So as to insure a better 2011, I will be eating black-eyed peas and writing my resolutions, but I will just have to end it if it is worse than this year.

A Conflicted Christmas

I feel so conflicted this Christmas. After one of the most difficult semester's on record (my best work colleague and travel buddy Jackie quit and moved away leaving me with 7 classes to teach and no best friend, a giant spreading, deep tumor rmoved from my head, and my sweet Mitzie's death), I need a break. But, all I really want to do is sit at home. Before both catastrophic events, a trip to Disney had been planned. Much money has been poured in and effort has been made. BUT, it was before my angst, my depression the reprieve, and before students made me insane. While Eric is going, and I am happy about that, I feel at a loss without my Mitzie and confused about the angst with Jackie (since her family is going too). While several have told me to go, that I need the vacation, I feel lost, quiet, and mostly want to just sit. Im worried about the bustle of Eric and Jackie's family and I am stressed about Eric and his money. I need to let go, not try to control it and do what I feel like doing, I know. Still, I am stressed about a vacation and I miss Mitzie.

The Love of My Life

My Mitzie Mouse was my best and most precious friend and now, as I sit with her ashes, I can't fathom a life without her big googley brown eyes, her under-bite smile, or her loyalty and love. She was my baby girl for whom I would have moved the world and in the last bit of her life, I must admit I tried.

As I traversed this life of mine, her little paw-paws followed right along on my time, never questioning or judging. Trips or moves, she diligently and bravely carried on her role: chief inspector and stress reducer, lover, and all-around best dogger. She made my life more loving, patient, and most importantly full.

Mitzie Mouser loved to go to UT and run the halls, ride the elevator, and sit in her bed while I typed prose that would give us a better life. She was dedicated to me and my pursuits. She loved her walks, her Garfield, and her t-shirts. She loved to sit-up and felt special in the car when she "doggie drove." She was loyal to her Aunt Wretta through the end. Mitzie was an ambassador for cats and humans alike, bringing both to realize dogs are lovely. She spoke English and understood affect. She was an emotional creature who reminded me daily of the importance of devotion and of treats.

Im not sure what I believe in terms of Heaven, but I know I long to see her again, to give her lovies.

Mitzie, I am better for having known and loved you. You made my life joyful and better and I thank you. Please find me again and until then know that I will never forget, I will always be thankful, and Zoey, Carmen and I will always have a place in our hearts for you, my angel dog.

Jackie's Ears...

Before my friend and colleague Jackie Ferguson left for Japan, I had to figure out a going away present for the woman who has everything...holes in her ears!

Never worked so hard in my life...

Okay, so I have, but last week and this week, is REALLY busy! Thank goodness for the time change. Now, if the people below me would stop watching Top Gun in stereo, I might work faster. Could they be watching it on continuous loop? Boom! Boom! Boom!

A short visit to Austin

Yesterday Loretta, Beth and I went to Speaking of the Dead in Lockhart. So cool! It is a genealogy-based project put on by the city of Lockhart that looks in one of the oldest cemeteries to find the story's of those buried. WE heard stories of cattle-drivers, library owners, and a hotel proprietress. The stories were so amazing. I wonder if all of our lives will be so wonderfully interesting in years to come. Then, today Zoey, Loretta and I headed to Barktober-fest at the Domain in Austin. Such fun!

Summer came and Summer went...

Fall has begun. After watching Jackie's two boys (Josiah, 12 and Levi, 8) for 5 days, I started the Fall semester of 2010. I cant believe it has been 3 years since beginning this professorship journey. Tenure is just around the corner. Scary. But alas, this semester is filled with too much to do to sit and wonder where the time went. Since this last summer began with a picture montage, it seems fitting it would end with one too. Here goes! These pictures act as the conclusion to the summer.

The "new" apartment TOUR!

Summer Speeds by

There is no time to write, but here is the update. Been teaching all summer, day in and day out. Classes are good, but full. Grading is out of control. I move on Wednesday and my little brother is going to man the house while the movers do their thing. Thankful. The girls are going to Austin on Tuesday while the move happens. Below, are some of the fun things I've slipped in here and there including visiting the missions (where Levi lit a candle for Mitzie's health).

The family photo shoot goes awry.

More animals saved by the J&L Rescue Society: Riley, Scooby and Gidget

My mother came to visit!

We had a great time. She arrived last Thursday after a very short visit with Eric in League City. When she got here we immediately headed out to Pico de Gallo for dinner from which we both had margaritas, chalupas y una sopapilla. Yummie! After dinner and a drive around downtown, we headed home for TV and chatting. She fixed a dress for me and I graded. The next morning we ate Mexican sweetbreads and readied ourselves for lunch at the Guenther House. I adore the Guenther House. The area is manicured and the old home vibrant with flowers and history. It used to be the home of the Guenthers who owned the Pioneer Flower Mill. The mill is still producing flour. Mom had chicken salad and I a soup and salad and mango tea. Because the place closes at lunch, by 3pm we were practically the only ones there. It was nice to sit with her and talk, although now I am not exactly sure what we talked about! We then headed to my new apartment, Sunset Ridge. Sounds a bit like an old folks home but is where I will be residing in August. She loved it and said it looks a lot like my house now. I sure hope so as it feels really sad to leave my house! Then we came home to rest and get ready for dinner on the riverwalk at Casa Rio with Anita and her mom. Her mom, Esperanza, cares for an elderly mother and formerly owned a flower shop. I figured they would be perfect and they were! A margarita later and wonderful seats right next to the river, the heat has subsided and our table was full of food. Such fun, especially as we searched for Loretta who was also at the riverwalk but with her crazy family from Fort Worth. It was surely crazy family day! hee! After a wonderful meal, we were dropped off and slept so soundly. On Saturday mom and I went to the San Antonio Museum of Art which was having a Psychedelic Art Installation. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE pop art, art from the 1960's and those arts that energize a canvas. We walked through the building and I loved it! I was surprised to find out that my mom doesnt really have a favorite art genre. I thought everyone did and I certainly thought someone who is an artist would! She said she mostly liked portraits, but not in a certain style. Huh. After the museum and a brief stop at Wal-Mart (oh God yes, mom needed Wal-Mart even while away for only a week!), we were tired and mom said she wanted to stay home for dinner. I cooked chicken and veggies and graded while we watched TV. Calm and cool. The next morning Loretta stopped in on her way back to Austin and had coffee and toast which allowed mom to follow her to I35 and insure her journey to Dallas. So far, my mother's visit has been the big summer news. I just wish my grandma would have been able to come. She would have loved it too.

Zoey summer 2010

Mitzie Summer 2010

A picture update

Mitzie Mouser-Update

She certainly is a trooper. The eating is up and down. We happen to be in a down right now; she hasnt eaten much in two days, a bit here and there, but not much. She is really skinny looking-no fat at all on her spine or her back hippers. She wears a shirt most of the time because the hair on her back is so thin. Right now though, she is also struggling with her sight and hearing. Sometimes she gets turned around and will just stand and pant. She seems lost. Others, I find her laying in an odd place, facing towards the wall for example, and I just know she couldn't find her bed and was discombobulated in the room. Recently her hearing has gotten so bad that when I call her, she looks the wrong way or doesnt recognize the sound at all.

The roles seem somewhat reversed as Zoey is now telling Mitz if it is a good thing and she should turn circles or not a good thing, a tails should go down. All I can say is Mitz taught Zoey everything she knows! Tonight Mitzie was so turned around on her late night walk that she stopped walking and wanted me to carry her. Those that know her know she NEVER lets me carry her on a walk. It was a bit disconcerting. It must be incredibly scary to lose your sight and hearing while your body falls apart as well.

My poor baby girl. She needs prayers. Heck, I need them about her too. I keep telling myself that all I can do is love her today and be happy that she is here with me today. I live with her by those words, but, it is too hard sometimes. Tonight, after fighting her to eat a piece of string cheese and about 1/4cup of dry food, I am sad and distraught about her, about those old creatures in my life. It is too hard tonight, right now. Hopefully, in the light it will be better tomorrow. Im sure she will have a hankerin' for Gerbers Graduates then. Poor Mouser, my baby Mouser.

My Fiesta Girls

SandFest with Jackie and Anita

We headed out to Port Aransas for Sandfest 2010, a time when these amazing sculptors make sandcastles and the ocean was windy and cool. The sand creations were simply amazing: mermaids, castles, and shells. We ate and drank and were merry!

Easter Bunnies

The 10 Best Parts about Losing a lot of Weight

10.Being able to wear a regular sized t-shirt
9. Being able to wear clothes in the regular-sized women's department
8. All clothes fit, just some look better than others
7. Feeling comfortable in jeans (no squeezing etc)
6. Seeing yourself in pictures is fun
5. Catching a glace at yourself and you look smaller than you imagine
4. Clothes are cheaper and you have more of a selection
3. Seeing your clavicle
2. Crossing your legs is comfortable and you do it without thinking
1. Because you actually followed through on something you wanted to do for forever!

J &L Underground Animal Rescue Strikes Again!

Animal #7 has been taken from the streets of San Antonio and rehomed in Austin. Her name is Juicy and she is a fuzzy-wuzzy doll. Next one up? A black lab named Sara needs a new home too. She will be #8. Woosh! Donations can be made to Animal Trustees of Austin, or to Jenny Wilson's Tooth Fund.