Mouser Dog

This morning I got some troubling news. My sweet Mouser has Mycrovascular Displasia, a chronic, deadly liver disease which strips the body's ability to excrete toxins. We are putting her on a low protein diet (proteins are hard for the liver to process) and vitamins. Also problematic is ammonia build-up which causes brain functioning issues. So, that might be why she has become so scared and timid. As of now, there is nothing to do. It is chronic and deadly. I am such a wreck thinking that my baby girl is dying. At 13, she is not that old for a little dog; most live to 15 or 16. I thought that with good vet care and an overattentive mother, she would live that long too. I am not ready to lose her. She has been with me for my entire adult life. I cant imagine coming home and her little, black, fuzzy, under-bite face not there to greet me. I'm on the verge of losing her. How do I cope with that?

I know I must keep going, keep her as healthy as possible, and give her a lot of love until it is time. I know all those things. But, my heart is breaking. I just lost my grandpa, I cant do this too.

Getting hair cut...poor hairless me.

My hair is falling out. I have to cut it off to help with the weight of it on the roots and to get it to look thicker and over the bald spot. I'm sad and nervous. Please send others and remember I have frizzbo, wavy hair.

A Love Story

Today I went to lunch with Ms. Eva, an elderly woman who lives 3 houses down from me. She is a wonderful lady, but boy, does she sustain a conversation! And so, after avoiding a dinner for months, I went with her to Los Barrios, a wonderful Mexican restaurant alive with color and mariachi. Over tortilla soup and homemade tortillas, I asked about her husband and she proceeded to tell me about love, the love of her life who was NOT her husband. She told me of elaborate parties, ribbons of color flown on banners and margaritas in Mexico City, where Enrique loved her and she him. His charm and adoration was alluring and Eva claimed to be "in love, deep through to the core of her body." The problem was that her family was leaving Mexico for the United States after 5 years of working for visas. So, she was to leave with them. Enrique wasn't able to come. She told me that at 29, she knew it meant she would never see him again. She recalled his smile and his eye lashes, also that he sent special deliveries for months after she had gone. But, she was never to go back. I asked why her mom and dad made her go with them, why didnt she stay behind. Eva quietly said, "I was the only child. My mom lost every pregnancy besides me. I had to go with them; they couldn't lose me." It was odd to think of a 29 year old woman as a child and that her love for Enrique wasnt to usurp that of her mom and dad. She continued, "They lavished everything on me, everything I wanted, everything they gave to me. I owed them." So, she left. I again asked about the man she did marry. She began, "Well, mija, I loved Enrique and nce you have that kind of love, you dont ever forget it. It is too deep, too much. "You know," she went on, "I did see Enrique again, about 5 years after. He came to the US and had a wife and child. We met for coffee because he had a beautiful photograph of me when I was Miss Mexico. He wanted me to have it. When I met him he wanted me to eat with him, to talk. I said no. He told me he couldnt part with the picture, that he didnt bring it." Eva recalled that she stood up and was frustrated. She madly stated that it was mean not to bring the picture. She then told me the last words he ever said to her. "It is the most horrible thing to not be married to the love of your life, and it is worse to upset her at perhaps the last time she is to see him."

Can you imagine? The Hispanic Titanic. Wow.

I prayed for money.

and received an offer to make some, which is wonderful and stupendous. It is the making it that is so hard. On Fridays I am working at an elementary school in Austin. Yes, I said Austin and yes, I live in San Antonio. The problem is that elementary school starts at the butt crack of dawn! So, for me to drop off the girls at daycare in Austin (so they arent left at home for 12 hours), and make it to the school by 7:45am, I get up at 4:15am. This is especially hard because I get home on Thursdays around 9 and because I always work nights, I cannot fall asleep before midnight/1am. I try and try!

The other issue has been finding time to prepare for Fridays. Meaning that M-W I am working to prepare for M-Th. So it isn't until Thursday night (or the weekend) that I have time to finish getting ready for Dora. If the weekend is grading, revising thesis, reading for M-Th., I am doomed!

Also hard is that because we have classes Monday-Thursday, Fridays are meeting days. So, I am constantly missing meetings and not knowing what is going on (even though I "get notes").

So, all week I am running and preparing for the 5 classes I teach, handling fires, graduate students, faculty issues, my lonely doggies, my house, myself and then, I must run to Austin. Don't get me wrong, I have learned so much while doing this new little job. The data analysis was so eye-opening, and working in the classrooms has been wonderful, but I am so tired. My bones want to lay in bed and sleep. Next week, I teach through Wednesday, then head to Indiana for the Phi Delta Kappa Summit on Literacy Education and return on Sunday, to begin it all again Monday. I know this busy-ness is nothing new, just tiring and I like it so much. Im setting the alarm right now for 4:15am.

Wish me luck!

I must say that I absolutely love my schnoodle. Zoey Louise is a breath of happy air. But, sheesh! What the heck is with all the scruffing?

Birthday Celebrations

On Thursday I went to dinner at Paesano's on the RiverWalk and to see Mama Mia with Anita and Jackie at the Majestic Theatre. It was the worst production of Mam Mia I have seen, complete with music that drown out the singers, taped music, no pit orchestra and random, fill-in people. Weird. The food and dinner conversation, however was lovely. We has tomatoes, mozzarella and basil salad, shrimp encrusted with parmesan, lasagne, sea bass and spinach, and of course, birthday fried ice cream and wine. So good! One of the best parts was having such fun people around. Thanks Jackie and Anita! We drank and sang and danced till midnight to songs from Mama Mia. Then I turned into a pumpkin because I have to be in Austin by 8am, meaning I get up at 4:50am. The girls left me with a carrot cake in hand.

In Austin, I worked at Dora's school all day, listened to reader's theatre and talked with teachers. I have a lot of work to get ready for next week. I am uploading a video of a first attempt at a reader's theatre after this blog post, so look for it.

I then headed to dinner at Eastside Cafe where I was meeting my Austin friends for dinner. Such fun. We al ate well, drank well, and talked well. After a 2 hour dinner, we headed back to Loretta's house for cupcakes and wine. I am so glad I got to see everyone! I love you all, Dawn, Claudia, Loretta, Diane, Sherry, Beth, Janne, Michelle, and Anita! You all made the Austin birthday great. I just love talking and catching up with you all.

And now, it is officially over. Year 32 is gone and year 33 is upon me. I need to have another birthday dinner soon, maybe in 363 days.