The Summer in Hell

I think I am living in a hell of my own creating. I am always busy, always running, and mostly overwhelmed. However, this 4 week summer session idea ha got to go. It is a fucked up idea. I have 35 students in one course and 6 students working on theses. What a racket! I was grading yesterday for 18 hours including editing 25 annotated bibliographies and 4 chapters from random students. I went to bed at 2 after also making the powerpoint for class today and was up at 7 with baby Zoey. From 9:30-1 I met with 10 students. Then to class for 3 hours, followed by students trailing me to my desk and two waiting there for "their appointments." HELL. My brain was fried by the time I made it to dinner. It just seems nuts that Diane does that every day, from 8-6, even on most weekends. I just feel dead. Maybe this isnt the job for me?

Now, I am sitting on the couch with the guilt of needing to read another student's chapter before tomorrow morning. Did I tell you I have 2 projects of my own going on too? A chapter, a digital manuscript, and coteaching manuscript. I must get some stuff done on those too. I just want to shop for shoes. Mindless and lovely shoes.

Speaking of shoes, Shelley and I decided that at the graduation this summer we were going to get some outrageous shoes to wear with my doctorate robes. We were thinking pink sparkley Chuck Taylors or saddle shoes and socks with lace.

As for other happenings: My grandpa fell again (nothing new, he falls at least 2 times a week because of his severe Parkinson's), however, this time, he couldnt remember who he was or what was happening. He just kept falling asleep. By the time the paramedics got there (which they come out a couple times a week), his blood pressure was so low and his glucose high and he was severely dehydrated which is weird because he has a feeding tube and is monitored so closely. He is stable now, doing fine and is aware. But, the question is, what will my parents do? Him staying at home isnt working. I have a feeling, nothing. None of us will. Its horrible.

Im not sleeping too well, you can imagine. Still having bad dreams and some paranoia. My friend Diane says it is probably stress. Am I stressed?