I'm not sleeping well and thus, it is hard to know if the anxiety and stress is a result of not getting enough sleep, or if the sleep is a result of the anxiety and stress. I've taught cause and effect so many times as a TAKS objective, you would think I would know! Doesn't really matter, I suppose. I'm scared to start sleeping medication though as I know they are totally addictive. Plus, I am a natural sort of girl. I believe we are all crazy, it's a sliding scale.
But, I am tired and can't sleep. I dont understand how to deal with that. I have always been a good, solid 8 hour sleeper...even my mom told me that when I was first home from the hospital, I slept all night. She was worried (you know, new babies are supposed to be up every 3 hours or so!). She would constantly check on me. So, I have no coping mechanisms for this.
My "anxiety causing" list: too many things to grade, finals being one hour long, students who have taken 8 class periods with me expecting to pass a high stakes TeXeS exam, my back door wont open, the air conditioner is always running, hunger, research tasks are too plentiful, writing in general, all my walls are cracked, my yard has dead patches, water is expensive, my cat needs furminating and I dont want to because it makes me so itchy, i hate working out, a colleague is making me nuts, Zoey needs more exercise, my grandpa is dying, my grandma is falling apart, my car could fall apart any second, loans, i can't sleep, chocolate speaks my language and calls to me, my uncle who is basically the last living relative on my dad's side died yesterday, my foot itches, a gouged 3 cm split in my fingernail, working out sucks, cockroaches..enough is enough! I quit life.
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