Learning about Learning...

So, for teachers learning is our aim. It is the epitome of a teacher's work, her lifelong pursuit. Yet, when it comes to us, when it comes to the teacher having to learn, it is a gray and scary thing. She doesn't want to not know something, unless she decides she is okay with it. For example, if a child says to her, "Miss, did you know that there are dolphins in the rain forest?" In this scenario most teachers will have no issue admitting they didn't know that. But tell a teacher she was wrong, that she didn't notice something, that what they did wasn't the level expected or that this is a learning experience and reactions include, "Oh, hell no. That woman is nuts!" or "It was impossible to tell what she wanted." Teachers have a special way of wanting to be right, to know the answers, to be in charge.

Even as I say that, I know that I am the same way. It is hard to think of something as a leaning experience when it feels bad. I remember a professor of mine in my doctorate study gave me back a paper that was bloody. I mean, it was bleeding. I had worked hard on it. I remember thinking first, "This lady didn't tell me what she wanted," then, "I must not be good enough to be in graduate school," then, "She is hard, nuts, and has fangs." Eventually, I figured out that maybe I was supposed to rewrite and rethink to learn...that it wasn't just about editing, that it was about editing my thinking. Specifically, it was about editing the way I thought about final copies, about completion, and thinking.

My undergraduate students got that this semester, not without struggle or without anger, but they have talked openly about the test I gave in which they could pick any letter (a-e) or all letters or a combination of letters. I said, "take the test like a critical thinking activity, a place to learn." It was too funny to talk about it later. They hated it at the time, but in the end respected the task saying things like, "I never thought about things so carefully during a test," and, "I never was so mad before that I couldn't just memorize it." But, the Master's students still struggle with the idea of learning while being graded...that they have another shot, that someone is behind them and wants them to do well and show what they know and that a grade is just a representation of momentary learning. Tomorrow their grade might be different. I think all of us that feel a sense of efficacy, of expertness, have that. Still, it seems that redoing assignments for teachers means that there is something WRONG with the professor/principal/OTHER, yet we want our students to redo to show new depth of learning. Boy, do we as teachers have a lot to learn from the very practices we expect, teach, and commend!