Las Vegas, Baby!

Friday afternoon, we were picked up at the Vegas airport by Jody. After a brief drop off of luggage at the pyramid shaped Luxor (referred to hereon as the Smelltor), we headed to Whole Foods Market to turn in Loretta's recipe in hopes of winning a meet n greet with Ms. Midler herself. They were having a salad contest, best one, wins a meet n greet. After brief pictures at the famous sign, off to walk the Strip. I am still unsure f they call it "The Strip" because it is long and a strip of hotels and casinos or if it because of the sex everywhere. We visited a couple casinos and then bought tickets at the half-price ticket stand for KA. I wanted to see LOVE really bad, but Loretta was in a a drug induced haze and wanted to go back to the Smelltor and Jody had seen it a few weeks earlier. So, KA was Jody's pick and KA it was to be. We hit Bellagio and their indoor botanical garden. My mother would have died to smell the Hyacinth and see the tulips all glowing. At KA, the music was amazing, surround sounds of glorious humming and perfect noting. The stage moved on hydraulics and at one point, lifted vertical and tons of sand poured into the pit. So cool. Jody and I then headed to the PURE nightclub where Perez Hilton was supposedly having a party. It was "list only" but after much ado, we did get in. Pulling Jody past where you pay (without paying), we hit the biggest wall of people and the loudest, ear shattering music I have ever heard. Pure my ass. No one could move. People were everywhere. Pushing and shoving to move anywhere was key. We basically made a forced circled around the joint and left. It was horrible. After the ordeal, Jody and I each had a cocktail (white russian and a vodka tonic) in Caesar's Palace (to the tune of 31$). By the time we got home it was about 4am. At 9 Loretta rose as did I. Coffee and apples for breakfast and then we headed out again. This time to see Loretta's pick, Popovich Theatre. Oh yes, we saw the cat, dog, scary clown, and bad magic spectacular. Loretta loved it. There were cats pushing baby carriages, and dogs sitting in desks like in school. Cats taking cues and direction. I must admit it was nuts! I needed a huge margarita just to get through the bad dancing, magic and clowns. The animals were cute and fun. After heading back to the Smelltor and primping, Bette was on for Saturday night. That because it was my favorite (of course!) and because it was the best show ever, it will be in another post. At 9:45 the show was over and Jody and I perused the Bette Store as we waited for Loretta to pick us up. WE met her across the street from Caesar's at the only place with a curb. It just happened to be in front of a mass of sick men attempting to had out naked pictures of the women they were prostituting to "be in your bed in 2 minutes or less." It was a park of a Cambodian slave trade, I swear. Gross. Hoping in the car as if we were celebrities, we went downtown on a self-made neon light tour. Awesome lights like the cowboy shone everywhere. Wedding chapels lined the streets for 24 hour wedding needs. You can get your dress, flowers, music, the room for the honeymoon and the pastor for 100.00. We tried to go to get a $6.99 steak at this totally old-school casino that wreaked of smoke and sex, but the wait was 25 minutes and we gave up, instead eating pizza. The hotels/casinos all smell of smoke. It is gross. I need to wash everything I brought, including the suitcase! Home by 1am, we celebrated Jody's birthday with cupcakes and I hit the lumpy, smelly bed. By 6am, Jody was up and headed back to LA for work by noon. Loretta and I slept a little more, got showered, and headed out to get Bette goodies at the Bette Store in Caesar's, see the Bellagio Warhol exhibit (Loretta ended up not going to the actual exhibit, but I did!)and the fountains, and the LOVE bar at the Mirage. After the walk back to the Luxor, it was time to leave. A cab ride and then a flight that got in at 1, and I was at home with the doggies. Stay tuned for the Bette Show posting!