The "What I Did for Christmas" List

1. 12th Street Lights in Austin with Zoey and Loretta
2 Riverwalk dinner, lights and swanky drinks at St. Anthony's with Diane
3. Baked 5 dozen cookies
4. Went to 5 parties (Jed, Alecozay, Dawn, Peg, and Work)
5. Saw Avatar with Eric in San Antonio
6. Pho noodles in Carrollton with Eric
7. Saw the Rockettes in Grapevine with Mom
8. Spent the day with Deanne, Brent and sweet baby Allen.
9. Spent many moons with Gma at her house watching CSI and Medium
10. Worked on my scrapbook
11. Made a snowman from the 3" of snow that fell in Dallas

Fun, fun, fun! Oh yes, I did NO work and had a WHITE Christmas!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The Girls: Pix for the Season

Cita poses on the couch, Mitzie makes her plea for medical funding and Zoey rides in the car with the window down!

Christmas List 2009

This year Christmas is a bit harder to make a list for. There are the things that are un-buyable, like Mouser's Health, but none that are small and simple. So, I am making a list but most of all I would like help paying for my senior dogger as she battles the disease ahead. At Mom's Request:
Money for Mitzie's Medical Care
My UT Class Ring
Money to get the other tree taken down

I know all are hard to give and money centered, but it is what I need and what would really help.

Parties and Cute Boys

I went to TWO parties this Saturday and had the best time.

Party #1 was a guy I had never met, but was set up with through his mother. She met me whilst I was buying a chair from her off craigslist. She stood in the parking lot where we met to exchange money for chair and invited me to the birthday/graduation party of her son. Weird I know! Because I had his email from the responses about the chair, I emailed him to check the water about attending. We've been emailing for 2 weeks. Of course, now, after the party, I am waiting to hear from him...But Anita and I went to the shindig and had fun drinking bear and talking to his friends and family. I thought it might feel weird, but actually it was quite fine. I think he is cute!

Party#2 was an invite through my gynocologist. I know. I am just trying to be more open so a man kind fall into my life! So, in that I received this party invitation. When I told a San Antonio native friend of mne about it, she was impressed. Evidently these are special invites to a special elitist party put on by the fabulous of San Antonio. It was awesome. Out on a ranch in south San, it was a-light with lights when we walked up at about 9. I had come home from my first party and changed for a black-tie affair and switched dates. This time Loretta came. Decked in our finest, we danced, drank and watched the people party on. Of course, this new found doctor of mine kept asking if I had, "found my new husband," but still it was completely a blast. I think he is Lebanese or maybe Armenian so the food was strange and wonderful (about 15 birds(turkeys and chickens) on platters of lettuce). But the most fun was watching the belly dancers come in and take the dancing stage. The home was like a palace, huge ceilings and massive. We danced and had a fun time. A student saw me and came over. HE asked, "Dr. Wilson? How did you get in here?" Loretta and I were one of maybe 6 White people. I said I knew people in high places. He smiled. I guess his wife works for the Doctor. It was such fun and beautiful and great.

Most of all, I am proud of myself that I went. I was SO exhausted. It is tiring to go to parties where you know no one and have to forge alliances. I had to do it twice! and in heels!

Loretta and I running the Turkey Trot in Austin: 5 MILES!

They Come in Threes...

I have heard that bad things, especially deaths happen in threes. So, since my grandpa’s death in June (29th), let’s just say I have been aware. In October, MitzieMouse was diagnosed and her life cut short. Now I spend mornings feeding her Gerber Graduates one by one. In the evening, I chase her around with a baby spoon putting globs of dinner-dinner on her pallet near her head, praying that the enticing aroma of liver diet food and medicine will waft to her nose and she gobble it. I put it with chicken, bologna, other dog food, trying vehemently to not use too much extra meat, but get her to eat. Death #2 is coming and I am watching it slowly, just like grandpa. My heart is dying too.

Now, I am wondering if I am watching another death: the death of my life as a smart and friend-full person. I have found myself stuck here in San Antonio, watching my Austin friendships fall apart as I wrangle a job I don’t like and that doesn’t like me. The idea of traveling the world has died with my choice to buy an unsellable house in a place that forsakes dogs and cats. Myself as smart person died with my purchase. There is no research here, no time to read and think. No room to be smart again. It is dying. So too has one of my most dear friendships begun to decay and die. It is sputtering, lifeless, not fun, and has plummeted from someone that knew everything about me and who was there for me in the best and worst of time, from conversations with much to say and plans to be had, to nothing. There is nothing to say, nothing to share, no real connection. There is empty space and nothing in common anymore. I must figure a way to be okay with that. There is no other option. You can’t make something live that is dying. You just watch it die.

I am experiencing two deaths at the same time, slowly and unstoppable. #2 and #3.

What are the girls up to on Thanksgiving?

11-26-2009

T-his year is the 4th year at Loretta's cafe.
H-aving turkey, yams, stuffing, potatoes,
A-nd pies galore.
N-o holding back for my diet,
K-icked ass on the Turkey Trot, 5 miles today.
S-o I'm going to eat and eat my favorite:
G-reen bean casserole
I-n the living room, nonetheless!
V-ery informal, yet paired with wine.
I-love Thanksgiving at Loretta's.
N-oon tomorrow, I'll be headed Dallas.
G-ravy, it's all just gravy.

Elder Care Provider Needed

After driving to Austin day before yesterday for Mitzie's vet visit, I returned to San Antonio with another silver Honda trailing. Loretta, her Mouser-loving self, came down to care for Mitzie on Wednesday. Wednesday is my hellish day from which I teach 3 classes and from 1pm till 10pm. By the time I get home, it is after 10:30. Loretta came to care for Mitzie and to insure that she was fed every three hours, got her medicine on schedule, and generally was looked after like a hawk. I can never say how caring it was. I came home last night to dogs walked, fed medicated, and turkey chili and cornbread warm for my meal. I swear I need a housewife. It was so nice to know that someone was there to care for Mitz. I dont know what I would have done without her. It is hard to figure out who really is your friend, who really is there for you, no matter what. No judgment about the fact that she is a dog, no questions, just care. There are not many who just genuinely step up. In fact, sometimes those you expect to be there arent. I am blessed to know her. How lucky I was to live next door. I am so scared and sad to even think about going through this next stage of my life without Mouser. She has been there through everything. She is my angel dog. Thank you Loretta for understanding-and for loving us both.

Goals for the Week:

1. Figure out a diet for Mouser Dog
2. Find and Read 2 new articles for Kathy Griffin
3. Write Final Exam for 5314
4. Gather guided reading videos for Dora's first grade teachers
5. Get an oil change for the Honda


All of these are in addition to normal activity and take TIME. God, help me find time!

My Grandma asked, What do you look like now?

NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT!

Clarice Mau-Mau Holland

My dear friend Loretta's mind-game playing, sweet, pink-nosed, 16 year old kitty had to be put to sleep yesterday. I drove up to Austin to be with Loretta as she decided what would be best for her darling baby onion cat. Clarice the cat had been at the vet's office for days trying to combat a common cold that her frail 5 pound body just couldn't shake. By the time I saw her again, only one week since her diagnosis, she was struggling to breathe and just looked at me with her angel-dust eyes, so sad and miserable. Clarice looked right at me and told me to tell Loretta to let her go. I just felt her say it. Loretta knew. The sadness was palpable as Loretta signed the authorization. We are so much more humane with our animals. So, quietly, peacefully, and most importantly, with love, Clarice Mau-Mau Holland was sent to the great kitty box in the sky where there will be no more needles to poke her, or infections, or kidney disease, or even tail fits. I wish for her: warm red blankets, kitty hash, plenty of snacky-snack, memories of her mommy who loved her so and her Aunt Jenny who spent 7 years working to pet her. We all, Loretta, Aunt Jenny, Mitzie Mouse, and Zoey will miss her. May she rest in peace and proceed to her next life in love.

North Carolina and a Catch-Up

This is going to be quite a long post, so for those of you who actually read, hang on!

First of all, I got my haircut. As Loretta said, I am no longer sporting the, “Pretty, pretty princess” look. It is now to my chin in the front, short-short in the back, and a bird nest of waves. Sort of trendy, I suppose. I got it cut to help with the hair loss which was quite significant. Losing weight can do that to ya. Also interesting is that I have has excema on my head for so long that scar tissue developed and thus, a bald spot! I really didn’t know it was there until the other hair loss. But boy, my hair is currently a problem. This new cut doesn’t help hide the spot, but it sure is easy! I wash it, put some curl junk on it to combat the frizz, and scrunch it. That is IT! 10 minutes tops. I must say I love that.

As for the weight loss, I am down 50 pounds and about 3 sizes. I now wear a misses 18, or thereabouts. I bought my first size 16 over my birthday and really haven’t lost much since then. It is such a battle. I am still working out an hour in the morning (watching The View at 10am) and then walking Zoey about 3 miles. I do about 35 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the stairs and 15 on the treadmill or the bike-whichever Im in the mood for. I must say that I am not sure what I am going to do once the weather gets cold and walking outside isn’t going to work. Lately, as it has been getting cold, I have added about 30 minutes at the gym. But, it is hard to keep that up and I don’t know what I will do. I think I need a treadmill at home. I am happy with my size though, for the first time in a long time. I like being able to cross my legs easily and sit in an airplane seat (which I am doing right now!) without taking up the whole seat.

My work is troubling right now and I am looking (I’ve only done one application so far, but am actively looking) for a new job. This is hard because: 1) I just bought a house and the market is BAD; 2) Higher ed jobs are scarce in good places and a professor must be willing to go to PoDunk, Georgia and I’m not willing; 3) Im not sure that a higher ed professorship is what I want; 4) My little girl dog is sicky and needs her vet. So, I am not happy where I am, but it is a job, and I am happy to have it for now.

I am currently in route to Charlotte, North Carolina for the annual College Reading Association Conference. My Paper was chosen as “best in show” and given to the editor of one of the most prestigious journals in my field to mentor. I meet with him tomorrow. Also, I have a talk about critical thinking assignments with preservice teachers and my first graduate student (whom now is a full time lecturer with A&M-SA) is presenting on Latina literature in higher education. I get there today at 4 and return Saturday morning. So, only one full day in Charlotte before another plane ride home.

My doggies are spread out all over too. Zoey Lou is at Shelley’s in San Antonio. She loves to play with Azul and Murphy (two big ole lovey lab mixies). Azul is her boyfriend however, so I hope that Shelley and Avery keep eyes on those two. I drove across town this morning and dropped her there at 6:30. Then Mouser and I headed to Austin. Mouser is, of course, staying with her Aunt Wretta whom she was so excited to see this morning that she literally bounded through the grass to get to her! It was totally cute. I hope they get a little dog lovey time. She needs it. Last night she didnt eat well. Clarice, Loretta’s cat, has been sick. She is dying of kidney disease, but has a cold now that has complicated the situation. It is a virtual Sun City Retirement Village on Palma Plaza in Austin for the next couple days.

So, back to grading. I have 110 rough drafts of content area books to grade. I hate grading. Can’t I just give a grade based on what I know? You’re dumb and don’t come to class: F. You’re smart, come to class, give good comments, write well, think well: A+. I know my students. Screw grading.

Howl-o-ween

All had fun!