I feel so conflicted this Christmas. After one of the most difficult semester's on record (my best work colleague and travel buddy Jackie quit and moved away leaving me with 7 classes to teach and no best friend, a giant spreading, deep tumor rmoved from my head, and my sweet Mitzie's death), I need a break. But, all I really want to do is sit at home. Before both catastrophic events, a trip to Disney had been planned. Much money has been poured in and effort has been made. BUT, it was before my angst, my depression the reprieve, and before students made me insane. While Eric is going, and I am happy about that, I feel at a loss without my Mitzie and confused about the angst with Jackie (since her family is going too). While several have told me to go, that I need the vacation, I feel lost, quiet, and mostly want to just sit. Im worried about the bustle of Eric and Jackie's family and I am stressed about Eric and his money. I need to let go, not try to control it and do what I feel like doing, I know. Still, I am stressed about a vacation and I miss Mitzie.
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